I find myself at a strange impasse. I can distinctly feel my energy shifting and the pull to do more, move more; ” get er done!” energy is powerfully present. In the same energy though, there is also a pull to rest, do nothing, think about anything and everything, but do nothing; just rest.
These energies are polarities of each other, and they both can’t exist in the same space. One cannot simply physically do something and do nothing at the same time. So there-in lies a choice.
I made this decision to purge. I want to bring in some fresh energy, and this is the most efficient way to do that.
I realized, once again, that; this physical purge of items, objects, ties to people, places, emotions, and timelines is just as much of an emotional purge process as it is a physical one; after all, some of these things are tied to people that I no longer deal with for one reason or another. Of course; In the most dualistic manner possible, there is this innate desire to learn something new, to research, study, to plan and organize for other things in my life and it has become distinctly clear to me as the universe has been guiding me out of this cave, that; this physical release is much more deeply tied to an emotional release I didn’t realize I also needed to do, and I can’t skip the step of releasing the old before jumping into something new.
2020 was a year of thought for me; almost all thought, no action or very little. I started doing the Zodiac Season Guide, and I was able to start the Dark Night readings on the channel, but those had been in the works for a while. Outside of this though; I was in thought the whole time. It was a very, very mental year for me. This was necessary in a way though, it’s what I needed after decades of decisions based on impulse and adrenaline to avoid another “crisis”. I can’t ignore this anymore though, this…”stuff”; it has to be dealt with.
I’m just not sure exactly why the resistance is so strong; it puzzles me. I know I’ll feel better once it’s gone. I know it will free up not just physical space, but also energetic space; yet it’s hard to get going and the self-imposed deadline is in 13 days to get a section of this deep cleaning done so I can tackle the last part before my solar return gets here. It isn’t impossible; I know it can be done; I’ve done it once before. It felt easier then, but maybe my hindsight is skewed based on current day circumstances.
Either way, I have to bust through this strange restless and suspended animation state. Major life changes are on the other side of the door of the equinox and I want them more than I want anything I may think I’m attached to. Physically or emotionally. It’s very Queen of Swords; ” it needs to go, so it has to go; now”. She is the one archetype that I only seem to step into by force, usually by an outside force. This time, it’s different since I’m choosing her energy to guide me through this purge. I need to be as ruthless as she is about cutting the dead weight.
This is as good a time as any for a brief discussion on some aspects of the Queen of Swords. Now, I have to preface with saying that every person’s lens of the tarot is different. I may see her energy in ways that you have never heard of before or have even connected to, doesn’t make me right or wrong or you right or wrong. Personally, I don’t feel there is a set way to interpret the cards so take what I say with seeds of curiosity and plant what resonates in your own garden of knowledge.
“When you approach the cards with the mind of a student, the tarot will always have something to teach you, about yourself and the world around you.”Paiges of Ascension
There has always been an aura of rigidity to me with the Queen of Swords, a stickler for details, calculating precise and blunt with communication; kind of like how nuns are portrayed in movies that revolve around a catholic school. She is sister Mary what’s-her-face and you will call her Sister Mary what’s-her-face and do what she says in the way she said to get the job done.
“Don’t dally now, it’s not proper to put off for tomorrow what you can do today” says Sister Mary what’s-her-face; all up your ass because she’s on misfit duty and you’re public enemy #1.
However, I can also see the energy of someone in the Queen of Swords who has become that way though experience, sometimes forced experience because she understands the value in knowing that the devil is in the details, timing is everything, and the clarity of your speech and tone can make a point without having to recite a monologue.
She is the stillness in the air you feel right before you say something you’ve been holding back. She really is quite an eerie energy for me because you can see that she has been pushed based on her grip of that sword and ” bring it bitch” motion with her left hand When push comes to shove (pun absolutely intended); the sword is ready to strike and cut without a second thought.
In this strange and incredibly powerful way, her take no prisoners, put up with no bullshit stance makes her the most emotionally resilient queen because when needed, she can most easily remove emotion from the equation to do what needs to be done, even if it’s hard, even if it’s painful. None of the other queens have that energy in them for me; most of them would shy away or even emotionally melt-down where the Q of S steps up to the plate.
The Queen of Wands, whom I adore and see a lot of her archetype in myself, is unfortunately, easily carried away with the emotion of passion, good (zealotry) or bad (rage with zeal). The Queen of Cups can take on an energy of being either too emotionally open (no boundaries), or too emotionally closed off (numb). Both the Q of W and the Q of C can be slaves to their emotions, particularly if they’re not careful. The Queen of Pentacles energy can easily be subjected to vanity or even self-imposed Martyrdom despite being the most mature queen of them all- ” I don’t have this, so now I am that, and must be saved from it all”. More on all of this another time.
The Queen of Swords is different, even though she is Water and Air; she can feel the anger, she can feel overwhelming emotion, and even feel persecuted, but her reaction is to arm herself with words and intellect, not emotional actions or reactions. In her highest and lowest forms, she has the ability to completely disable someone who is intentionally trying to come for her with less than a sentence. Every time. We can assess her vibe level based on the carnage in the statement’s aftermath. They either look like a suffocating fish or a stunned and suffocating fish afterwards but the facial expression will almost always be one of the wide-eyed surprise of a wake-up call.
She’s that person who gets hella quiet when the anger is REAL. The words will cut deep even if it’s a petty irritation; you’re looking at straight dismemberment if you wind up on that silent side of a Queen of Swords.
Now this is not to say that there are more negative sides or more positive attributes to the Q of S or any of the court cards; there are, they’re dualistic, just like human emotions are. The Q of S in her shadow is probably one of the worst in my opinion because words do hurt and hers can hurt a lot more than most; we need to stop feeding that crap to kids that words and language don’t make a difference; they clearly do. As if we haven’t seen many take a tumble from grace in the last 5 years based on something they’ve said, but again, that’s another post for another time.
Part of channeling this energy of the Queen of Swords for me is to get comfortable moving in and out of her energy by choice versus by force. I pose this question to you metaphysical misfits.
What court card energy do you have to be pushed to utilize? Why is this the case?
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Contrary to popular belief of those who have known me a decade or more; I am actually pretty temperate with my mood, and this has become even more pronounced with age. It’s pretty hard to truly piss me off, doesn’t mean you’re clear of a temper tantrum though. I just don’t care what people try to do to me or those who compete with me; i mean, if that’s how you really want to spend your time, more power to ya. For most of my life, there’s always been one snake in the grass pretending to be my “friend” or some person who feels entitled enough to knock me off some pedestal THEY put me on. Like, dude, I don’t care; that’s a perception issue on your end; I’m just doing me in the most ethical way I can though this life, I don’t want the pedestal, you can keep it #realtalk .
But…. there often seems to be that one person who sees this as a challenge and asks someone in the sea of haters to hold their beer.
It’s hard for me to be merciless, but I can and will go there if that idiot comes for me just usually only if pushed; so, there are many people, soo many people who have gotten away with doing a lot of really toxic stuff, that I’ve never been merciless with because they didn’t necessarily “push” me to do anything except say ” good luck with that karmic ass whooping you just earned 🙂 “. Ironically enough though, part of my path in mastering this little thang we call Ascension means that I have to be willing to step into Q of S energy to cut things off and out BEFORE I get pushed, also known as standing up for yourself * smh*, seems like a common sense concept, really. This can be hard to implement though if you naturally have a peace keeping nature though. Conflict avoidance isn’t healthy when it comes to standing up for yourself. Sometimes we are the ones responsible for delivering people their karma and this can happen in the manner of standing your ground and drawing that pretty line with bling accents in the sand.
So, to bring it back home to the whole point of this post; I’ve identified (ok, re-identified) some background noise in my life that happens to be manifesting through epic amounts of useless shit. Noise disturbs your peace; the Queen of Swords archetype quickly cuts out the things that disturb her peace before they have the opportunity to disturb her peace. It’s how she can always be ” on guard” for changes in the surrounding energy, she knows her own resting state so it’s hard to creep up on her.
Clutter, whether physical or emotional, is not something that happens overnight. It’s the equivalent to all those people and events leaving a little piece of their toxic energy behind because you didn’t clean up after they left your life, and now there’s a lot more to do to get rid of it all. Again, not impossible; but inner fortitude is necessary for success.
Going through this restlessness this past week has helped me to identify noise I have been allowing to play on repeat in the background that has got to exit stage left. So, when faced with the choice for things to stay as they are or move with the river; I’m grabbing my floatie.
Happy Spring Cleaning Misfits